


biscuit

by hingabee



Series: basic space [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Blood, Dissociation, M/M, Menstruation, PIV Sex, as usual, everyones fucked up in the head, kind of dubious consent but not really. at all., oh also unprotected sex, sex repulsed character i guess, well its BAD sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 16:39:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13415325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hingabee/pseuds/hingabee
Summary: Mantis is aware of how this works; has been for the longest time; even as a small child just a glimpse at people had been enough toseeit; it has been everywhere starting from his own reflection in his father's glassy eyes; and it is the same feeling he gets when Ocelot looks at him for just a little bit too long.





	biscuit

**Author's Note:**

> this goes directly with basic space and is just really uncomfortable so please dont expect something sexy here lmao  
> title based on a portishead song as so often ~

Tossing and turning before sleep is a well known ritual by now, but after settling into sheets tinged with the scent of sweat and cigarettes; that all too familiar nausea rises up his spine and clouds his head, this time though it is accompanied by the very new sensation of an equally intense excitement.

Mantis licks his lips nervously. 

This is not going to be different than the previous night, he tells himself; not by _much_ , surely; but after reaching out mentally and raking through Eli's thoughts and finding nothing but his own face and voice there; quiet whispers echoing through the bathroom; Mantis quickly snaps their connection shut and hides his face in the pillow. 

It really is a pity; Eli just can not help himself, caught up by his own primal instincts and too oblivious to realise he could just walk away and leave them behind; leave Mantis behind; all of humanity even, because despite his flaws, he is a perfect being and deserves a place on top of the world. 

Though for now cold hands, still wet from the shower, slide over Mantis' sides and pull him closer. 

"Hey." Eli whispers into his neck and pulls a few stray curls behind Mantis' ear. "I've been thinking about you... ." 

"While you were showering?" Mantis deadpans and swallows down every last bit of doubt and hesistance before taking one of Eli's wandering hands into his own to guide it to his ribs. 

Eli grins; accepts the gesture with gratitude and starts mouthing at Mantis' shoulders, tangles their legs and cups his chest gently; thoughts and emotions thick with selfish affections pressing up against Mantis mind insistently. 

There is a real dissonance seething inside of him when he leans back into the touch; turns his head so far it hurts to bite at Eli‘s cheek and bottom lip to suck all the pretty, pink colour from it; it only turns a deeper shade though, red now black in the darkness of their hotel room. Eli responds in kind; with eager moans and gasps he lets himself be opened up and bares his mind and throat to be invaded; pushes his hips against Mantis and groans at the delicious friction of fabric against his heated, flushed skin. 

"Please," Eli rasps as he swallows air in a desperate attempt to not drown in Mantis' mouth and his own saliva. "Let me touch you." 

Mantis licks the last stray drops of blood from his lips; unsure if he is tasting himself or Eli; and leans away to catch a breath and stare at the ceiling with half lidded eyes. 

The world closes in and shrinks to the eye of a needle when fingers dig into the inside of his thigh; unsure, inexperienced and searching for a goal they do not seem to be sure of. The constant, hot pressure against Mantis' ass a steady reminder of the filthy sick rising in his throat as Eli slips a hand into his underwear and hesitantly combs through the thin curls beneath. 

"Alright?" He asks and his voice is so insecure and scared that Mantis actually has to giggle like a god damn psycho before turning his head again to gently touch Eli's face. It feels surreal how everything in him strives to please and protect this boy just in time for his own bodily sense of existence to blur out and dissolve while he simply watches; coward that he is; too scared of himself and the heat in his belly to interfere.

_Careful._ He warns Eli. _The blood._

But Eli does only seem to care about the implied permission of touch and eagerly nods against Mantis' neck before sliding his shaking hand downwards.

Mantis can not help but tense up when he feels the experimental brush of calloused fingertips against himself and almost traps Eli's awkwardly bent arm between his legs; but a gentle nudge against his mind helps him unwind and he raises his right knee a little to grant better access. 

"Good?" Eli asks and Mantis shrugs helplessly and leans back a little further against the other's chest.

_Not really._

There is a quiet curse and the careful prodding turns into something a bit more aggressive; Mantis presses his eyes shut and grimaces; tries to focus on the arousal spilling over to him while gripping tightly onto Eli's wrist and ignores the growing discomfort rising from their clumsy ministrations. 

"Mantis... ." Eli sighs, shamelessly pushes his erection against Mantis' lower back and does something with his fingers that feels so intrusive and actually painful that Mantis hisses through his teeth. 

Eli stops.

"Are you okay? I don't want to hurt you y'know." He kisses Mantis' jawline and somehow manages to press his body even closer; breath heavy and dripping with that disgusting mix of arousal and endearment. "I want to make you feel good, too." 

_Just put it in._ Mantis thinks and slowly moves his hips back against Eli to encourage him a little further; every movement feels like its drawn out in slow motion and for a moment there is even the barest hint of pleasure shooting up his spine when the hand between his legs is pulled back and finally; if not accidentally; brushes over a sensitive spot.

Eli wipes his fingers on the bedding and Mantis has to suck in a deep breath to calm himself. 

"You sure? Isn't it supposed to be painful? Because I really don't want to -" 

"Eli, just do it." Mantis spits and pulls down his underwear far enough to be able to kick it off; then reaches back; blindly grabbing for the terrible hardness digging into his tailbone and moves up the bed to raise his leg far enough to pull it between his thighs.

Eli actually howls in pain and pries off that relentless grip on himself before grinding against him as hard as he can; wraps his arms around Mantis' middle and moans obscenities into his shirt; biting and drooling onto the fabric like a young dog treats its favourite toy.

That comparison may not be too far off, Mantis muses, not bothering to hide his distaste for Eli's shameless display of their more animalistic side; though his thoughts seem to go unnoticed. 

But Mantis does wish he would just get over with it; spreads his legs a little further; invitingly; and reaches down to stroke Eli as gently as possible while trapping him between his thighs; causing him to groan and whine; nails digging into Mantis‘ sides. 

_Come on._ He sings in their heads; his mental voice a hollow echo ringing between them. _Make me feel good then._

For a moment nothing happens and Mantis is about to turn back and look at the fear in Eli's face with a hint of smug glee hidden behind his own eyes; but then a hand grabs at his hip and he feels that damn familiar wave of panic gush up in his chest as Eli positions himself behind him. 

"Tell me if it gets too much, I -" Eli begins but stops himself on his own before Mantis can even tell him to shut up. 

"I - ... you're so fucking hot, do you know that... ?" He mumbles instead and holds onto his dick with trembling fingers as he pushes forwards and Mantis almost starts laughing hysterically when Eli misses on the first try and curses quietly against his shoulder.

Then there is a long groan and the deep, guttural noise startles Mantis so much that at first he barely registers the uncomfortable stretch, but when Eli starts rutting up into him he bites his fist to muffle all those strained, little gasps spilling from his mouth. 

Trying to separate himself from the unpleasant physical side of the act; Mantis delves deep into the invisible space connecting them and latches onto the confusing bliss that spirals around them like the damn parasite he is after all; Eli's nauseating contentment vibrating heavily inside of him. He does know; has known even before they had started this sick little game; that Eli would not last long, but with the increasingly repulsive thoughts thrown at him it his hard to find comfort in that.

Being pulled back into the real world by the revolting sound of skin slapping against skin Mantis tries to ignore the pain and listens to Eli's desperate panting and exclamations of affection while; tense as he already is; clenching up around him to draw an even more broken moan from his throat. 

Eli is already on the brink of orgasm but draws it out as long as he possibly can; slows his pace and languidly thrusts inside of Mantis; his every breath and word tickling Mantis' neck, who would give anything to not have to hear that wet and slick noise connecting them. 

"I-I love you. Oh god, you feel so good I can't -" It is almost pitiful how these pathetic declarations contain both truth and lie but Eli does not seem to notice and keeps going; every push of his hips accompanied by terrible words that don't mean a thing to Mantis; not anymore.

He stares at the ugly wallpaper and listens to the creaking of the mattress; the delicate little sounds dancing around Eli's lips while he himself is as quiet as he can be; only the occasional pained groan slipping free. 

And Mantis is aware of how this works; has been for the longest time; even as a small child just a glimpse at people had been enough to _see_ it; it has been everywhere starting from his own reflection in his father's glassy eyes; and it is the same feeling he gets when Ocelot looks at him for just a little bit too long. 

So it has to be over soon now.

He dully notes Eli pawing at his chest and mumbling pointless words that do nothing but make it harder for him to escape this moment; Mantis does not want to hear how tight or hot or good he is and it takes all his willpower to not just vanish from the room; out of Eli's arms; in the blink of an eye.

But then finally Eli muffles his groans and his shuddering breath in Mantis' shirt; stuttering hips moving uselessly against him a few more times before slowing down and stilling eventually. But Eli doesn't leave him just yet though; keeps clinging to Mantis like his life depends on it and pulls him down into the deep of sticky second-hand pleasure that hits Mantis like a truck.

He convulses violently; draws in on himself and starts mewling pathetically; it feels good but it does not, because it is not his own but a merely borrowed and false sensation. 

When he opens his eyes again Mantis is lying on his back; Eli's naked body crouched above him and with what little light the window manages to let into their room Mantis can make out his sweaty features and shaking hands. Between his legs his softening dick, dark with blood. 

"Mantis, talk to me. Come on... ." It is almost touching how gently Eli uses the same fingers he pushed inside him earlier to pull Mantis' messy curls out of his face and wipe his tears. "If you had told me that it was too much I would've stopped." 

But would he? Mantis thinks bitterly and pushes Eli away to stumble off the bed and towards the bathroom. 

_I wanted it. Everything is okay, Eli._ He locks the door behind him and collapses over the toilet bowl; buries his face in his hands and tries to push down the frustration and fear and anger; if he let them go he would just hurt himself, or worse; Eli, in the process. 

So Mantis quietly adds _Thank you._ as he reaches for a washcloth to scrub away the fluids between his legs; he ignores Eli's worried voice and pleas, the knocking on the bathroom door; and continues cleaning himself until his inner thighs are red and sore. 

But there is still something inside of him so he sits down on the cold tiles and spreads his legs as far as he can to pull out the _filth_ tainting his insides with his own hands; nails scraping and digging into sensitive flesh as he hisses in pain. 

It does not matter how hard he tries; there is always a bit left he can not reach; that is so deep inside of him; to permanently defile him; and Mantis knows he is crying before he can even feel the tears on his face. 

He must have lost control of the door because suddenly Eli is kneeling at his side and cradles him into his arms like he is a god damned child, though Mantis can not help but lean into it and sobs quietly against Eli's neck as he lets himself be lulled by whispered apologies and those false, bitter kisses which he eagerly returns in his desperation. 

Somehow they end up in Mantis' bed again; gentle hands and lips all over his pale body as he buries his fingers deep in Eli's scalp to hold on to _something_ ; to pull out the ability to distinguish pleasure from pain and to hide somewhere not even his own thoughts can find him now. 

But whenever he catches Eli's eyes; dark, sad and filled with regret; Mantis smiles sweetly at him back here in the real world; perfectly aware that the filth inside of them is slowly spreading.

**Author's Note:**

> and it was a bummer to write too!!!


End file.
